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Of all the challenges that school brings for students and their parents, one of the most unwelcome and worrying is bullying.

Bullying starts as early as first grade and peaks in middle school. About 1 in 5 students report being bullied each year, and figuring out how to respond is difficult. A parent’s first impulse—whether to fly into a rage and call the bully’s parents or dismiss the whole thing as “kid stuff”—is not necessarily the right path.

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