Blog
Encouraging Picky Eaters
Scenario: Tired after a long day at work, you pick up your child, head home and prepare the evening meal. You have no sooner joined each other at the table than you are greeted with a high-pitched whiny voice complaining “I don’t like that!” and the evening spirals...
Parenting Lessons From My Dad’s Childhood
Last Father’s Day, I invited my dad, Herb Lewis, to look back over the decades and describe his childhood experiences, his relationship with his parents and how it all shaped his approach to parenting. Here are his thoughts and parenting lessons, including what’s...
Power Paths for Parenting
“If you help clean the garage, I will give you 10 dollars!” “Avery, your room is a hot mess! If you don’t clean it up, I’m going to toss all your junk out the window!” “If I catch you sneaking candy again, you won’t get any dessert for two weeks!” “Isabella, you...
Gaining Cooperation From Your Extra-Challenging Child
At the playground recently, I watched a mom try to convince her 6- or 7-year-old daughter to leave behind a collection of sticks and twigs she had been playing with. The mom’s patience finally ran out, and she spoke firmly: “Sarah, you heard me. No sticks in the...
How to Encourage Courage in Your Kids
“Courage is about something magical that happens on the inside that helps us push through fear, self-doubt, and anxiety; not something magical that happens inside us to make us suddenly brave.” – Jeff Ludlum In the 1990s, when my first child was growing up in our...
Advice for Parenting Introverted Children
If you’re the parent of an introverted child, you might find this article enlightening and potentially useful. If you’re the extroverted parent of an introverted child, you – or potentially future-you – could write this article. Me, I’m an introvert. Nothing...
PEP Awarded $72,576 Grant from the Children’s Opportunity Fund of the Greater Washington Community Foundation
KENSINGTON, MD (February 1, 2022) – PEP (the Parent Encouragement Program), a leading nonprofit educational organization based in Kensington, Maryland, partnering with MHP, a private nonprofit dedicated to providing access to quality affordable housing, based in...
PEP Wins Multi-Year Contract to Provide its Award-Winning Parent Education Program to USAID Staff in Washington, D.C., and around the World.
KENSINGTON, MD (May 11, 2020) – PEP (the Parent Encouragement Program), a leading non-profit educational organization based in Kensington, Maryland, has signed a multi-year contract to provide its award-winning Parent Education Program to the employees...
“Choose your consequences more wisely — and get the kid some help”
"Dear Carolyn: My son, 11, has been acting up in school: not doing his homework, talking during class, picking on younger kids, getting detentions and just being an all-around brat. At home, he's picking on his siblings and talking back to me and his dad. We've had...
PEP leaders on Fox News Show “Mommy Confidential”
Segments including sexting and spanking, respectively. View the recording from the "Should parents still spank their children?"
“How can I stop relatives from spoiling my 6-month-old?”
"Q: I have a delightful 6-month-old daughter. She's the only grandchild in my extended family and has been spoiled so far with love, attention and (even as I try to prevent the rising tide) toys. It's gotten a little better, but I still have several relatives who...
“Parenting requires one to actually, ahem, parent, not pout”
"Dear Carolyn: I live in a home with two indoor house cats with a litter box. My 8th-grade daughter is supposed to be responsible for sweeping and scooping litter but does a terrible, lackadaisical job. It’s in my laundry room, where I smell and step all over...
“The Minefield of Talking With Your Children About Sexting”
It’s a parent’s nightmare: Your teenage daughter tries to charm her latest crush by sending him a revealing photo of herself—and is devastated when he forwards it to dozens of classmates. Or you learn from an older sibling that a suggestive photo of your younger...
“How to create a bedtime routine for kids that works, in 30 minutes or less”
Bedtime is such a chore for parents that there’s a book with a profanity-laced title devoted to the subject. Behavior that seemed cute at 8 a.m. is anything but when everyone is exhausted and the good-nights are stretching into the second hour. Why do kids...
“Should You Tell Your Teen You Tried Alcohol or Drugs?”
The questions many parents dread begin as early as middle school: Did you do drugs when you were in school? Did you drink when you were a teenager? Parents’ natural reaction is often to clam up and try to hide youthful misdeeds. But there are ways to use stories...
“When a Bully Targets Your Child”
Of all the challenges that school brings for students and their parents, one of the most unwelcome and worrying is bullying. Bullying starts as early as first grade and peaks in middle school. About 1 in 5 students report being bullied each year, and figuring out...
“Why You Should Let Your Children Break the Rules Sometimes”
For parents, breaking the rules is sometimes a good thing. Pediatricians, psychologists and authors and moms and dads agree on this: We live in an age of parenting dogma—and it can be bad for families. Limit your child’s screen time. Avoid giving your toddler juice...
“Summer break is hardly a vacation for parents — but here’s how it can be”
Summer is almost here. For parents of school-age kids, this means freedom from the grind of homework, piano lessons, scout meetings and soccer practice. It’s time to relax and take in the summer breeze with the youngsters, right? If only summer were that...
“Moms’ Middle-School Blues”
Mothers feel more anxious, dissatisfied and doubtful about their own parenting skills when their children are in middle school than at any other stage, new research shows. The turbulence that hits sixth- through eighth-graders often begins with the onset of...
Fox 5 DC Morning News
July to September, 2015 – Fox 5 DC Morning News. PEP appeared on 4 different occasions as a parenting expert in panel discussions on the show.
“How to Prevent Gender Stereotypes at Home”
Gender roles are about more than just clothes and toy aisles. Think jobs and career. Patti Cancellier, education director with Kensington’s Parent Encouragement Program, said the topic of gender comes up in her classes frequently. “Usually it’s around the...
“Bring in the Experts”
Bethesda Magazine, “Bring in the Experts,” – PEP was featured extensively in this article about parenting and parenting...
Check Out These 7 Anxiety Busters
With all the uncertainties of the present moment, it is not surprising that many teens are experiencing anxiety. The combination of the unknown, fear and lack of control induces an anxious response, which takes a toll on behavior and mental health. Once the nervous...
Let Kids Solve Their Own Problems
“Never do for a child what the child can do for themselves.” -Rudolf Dreikurs I used to believe that solving my children’s problems was being a good mom … until I realized that I was stifling their growth. Doing things for your child that they can do for themselves...
The Secret Sauce of Parenting: Special Time with Your Children
Question: What is the one thing a child consistently wants from a parent or caregiver? Answer: Attention Question: How can you give quality, focused attention to your children in a way that fills their cup so they can entertain themselves at times when you are busy...
Build Confidence by Encouraging Individuality
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson What do you say when your 12-year-old wants to dye her hair blue? How about when your teenage son comes home wearing black nail...
Modeling for Your Kids: Your Self-Care Matters
Our children take their cues from us. How we react to situations, what we say, down to body posture and even our voice inflections when we speak — they are taking it all in. Kids are, indeed, “little sponges”, absorbing the good, bad and the not-so-good about the...
The Importance of “Me Time” for Parents
When we parents think of “Me Time,” we often feel selfish. That’s probably because of the ambiguities of parenting itself. Is it a job? Or is it a relationship? When can I take time off? Wait – can I take time off?” To get clarity, ideas and...
Positive Parenting for Your Neurodiverse Child
A 5-year-old boy, Felix, is playing with blocks near the kitchen while his dad is busy cooking dinner. Felix starts singing loudly, but his dad doesn’t respond. Felix then suddenly throws his blocks across the room and yells as they crash against the wall. His dad...
Tips on Talking to Children About Their Worries and Concerns
To a young child, everything is BIG. Thoughts, feelings and ideas often become so BIG that they overwhelm the child. As adults, we need to take seriously what is BIG to children and not slough it off as “no big deal.” Additionally, it is vital that we hone our...
Family Road Trip Tips
If you are planning a vacation this spring or summer, a family road trip is likely in the car(d)s. Aside from providing a much-needed break, did you know that a car ride, whether across the country or just across town, can provide the backdrop for your child...
Moving from Punishment to Teaching Children to Solve Problems
There are two big problems with punishing children. First, it is a bad model for how to solve problems. It doesn’t actually teach a person anything, and most likely will instill fear and resentment. Second, the purpose of punishment is to control someone’s...
Parenting Lessons of “The Karate Kid”
Experience is the best teacher. But during a pandemic, watching and discussing movies with our kids can also provide powerful, teachable moments. Escaping into the screen, we meet people like ourselves, struggling and learning through experience. Watching the...
Academic Integrity and Distance Learning, Part 2
A teacher has discovered at least some in his class have worked collaboratively on an exam; in this scenario, group work on a test is considered academic cheating. The instructor emails the class letting the students know he is aware of the dishonesty. ...
Academic Integrity and Distance Learning, Part 1
Distance learning has created many situations we could scarcely imagine in a time before the pandemic. These problems range from uneven access to technology and the internet, to kids missing friends, routines and mile marker events. Parents are left struggling to...
Be in the Moment! Mindfulness Techniques for Kids
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” (Jon Kabat-Zinn) When our parents told us to “take a deep breath and count to 10” before responding in the heat of the moment, they may have been onto...
Helping Your Children Get Through These (and Other) Difficult Times
The article below shares some of PEP’s timeless ideas and wisdom for parenting our children through challenging times. The approach we can take to support our children remains the same regardless of the circumstances. Find calm for yourself. Listen. Ask questions....
20 Parenting Insights from 2020
On an early day in March 2020, the PEP staff came to the office as usual, forged ahead with a robust schedule of webinars on new topics, recruited several volunteer families to film new role plays and...
Practicing GRACE: A Parenting Resolution for 2021
We are in the last month of the most challenging, unprecedented and trying year that most of us have ever experienced. We have cycled through confusion, despair, overwhelm and gratefulness, while looking hard for silver linings. Parents have had to run their own...
In Search of Golden Nuggets
This week I listened to my new favorite podcast, Kelly Corrigan Wonders. She was joined by Wanda Holland Greene to talk about agency, the thoughts and actions we take that express our personal power. The circumstances of these past 8 months may have left many of us...
12 Ways to De-stress as a Parent
These days, given the pandemic, chaos in the news and the impending presidential election, it can feel like stress is never-ending. Add onto it the increased responsibilities of working and schooling from home, it can feel like you never get a moment for yourself...
Encouraging Your Children’s Dreams for the Future
Five-year-old Miriam watches the ice skaters twirling on the television screen during an international competition. “I want ice skates for my birthday! I’m going to be an ice skater like that, too!” Ten-year-old Marcus grumbles about doing his homework and...
The Family “Playlist”
When we published The Family Gap Plan blog post back in April, I'm not sure we realized that six months later the pandemic would still be with us. That post was based on an idea shared on the Brené Brown podcast, Unlocking Us. Sadly, the main elements of...
Hitting the Parenting Pause Button
Perhaps you have seen the viral video of the toddler who liberally applied permanent Sharpie markers to himself and then to his sibling? Or the mischievous tot who dusted the entire kitchen and himself in a fine layer of flour? Do you ever wonder how their moms...
3 Benefits of a “Do-Over”
This time in our lives is fraught with sadness, fear, exhaustion, anger, incredulity -- you name it. As a result, it's easy to become short-tempered and reactive, even with those we love and cherish. In our classes, we often talk about the concept of a...
Bridging the Gap: How a Year “Off” Can Be a Year “On”
Even before COVID-19 forced the likelihood of online college this fall, many American high school students were considering a pause between walking the stage at graduation and decorating their college dorm rooms. Though still not as common as in countries such as...
(Re) Finding a Steady-State
Lately, life feels like a mobile trying to remain balanced in a (hot and humid) gale-force wind. I've been thinking about mobiles as a metaphor for life. Suspended from the ceiling, they artfully demonstrate a balance of forces. Without any outside forces acting on...
Humor and Play Are Crucial to Your Child’s Development
Chances are, you don't always enjoy playing with your child - especially when you are busy, tired or the imagination game she likes to play isn't your idea of fun. It can be hard to let go of your to-do list and play even for ten minutes. "Playful Parenting is a...
All Grown Up – And Back Home Again
Most American teenagers dream about growing up and moving out of their childhood home after high school, eager to experience the fun and excitement of adult independence. The reality, though, can be quite different. Twenty-first century challenges, including high...
A Model Dad – Not What You Think!
Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein ("Favorite Things," The Sound of Music) Kids on screens...
A Statement from PEP
We are living in extraordinarily difficult times that raise uncomfortable, yet critically important, questions about ourselves and our country: how we treat each other, how we are protected from harm, and how we live together. The senseless deaths of...
My Teen Son Told Me to “Back off” — He Was Right.
As the parent of a high school junior, I am frequently hearing well-meaning adults suggest that our teens take full advantage of this time to learn a new hobby or start a project or some other grand idea that they can write about on their college applications. For...
“Mom, When Can I …”
Anyone else getting questions from your kids about seeing friends, girlfriends, going out? This is going to be a long post. Heads up, if you think scrolling to the end will reveal the answer, it won't. I have two thoughts on this. First, there isn't one right...
When We Start Keeping Score, We’re No Longer Playing on the Same Team
With Mother's Day right around the corner, the May 6th New York Times piece, Nearly Half of Men Say They Do Most of the Home Schooling. 3 Percent of Women Agree, felt ill-timed. The article reports on an April survey of 2,200 Americans and suggests that...
Give Your Child the “Empathy Advantage”
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 20 parenting books, including Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World, described as "a game-changing guide showing why nurturing empathy in our children isn't optional - it's essential." In this...
If Not Now, When?
If there's one thing that's has become abundantly clear through this pandemic, it's that the quality of our relationships matter. There's no shortage of articles, podcasts, and webinars for both parents and couples on how to survive, repair, endure, or maintain a...
Tell Me More . . .
I recently read Kelly Corrigan's book, Tell Me More: Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say. Whether you need to laugh or cry right now, I can't recommend this book enough; she's smart, witty, and so relatable. In it, she talks about a...
How to Talk to Children About Death During the Coronavirus Pandemic
As the coronavirus pandemic unfolds, we know that there will be many deaths in our communities. Unfortunately, it is likely that there may be one or more deaths that impact the lives of our children. While it may be difficult to face this fact, it makes sense to be...
The Family Gap Plan
I recently listened to Brené Brown's new podcast, Unlocking Us. If you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend it. There were a few key takeaways in a recent podcast that I thought are worth mentioning here as they are timely, meaningful, and dovetail with...
Helping Your Children Get Through These (and Other) Difficult Times
These are difficult days. Families everywhere are reeling as we rapidly have to adopt social distancing and other measures to slow the spread of the Coronavirus. While it's still in its early days, it is becoming more and more clear that our personal lives will be...
A Little Help . . .
Yesterday I had to go back to bed at 1:30 pm and start again after a nap. I’m moving through being optimistic, despair, working out, eating carbs, complaining to friends, catastrophizing, seeking out silver linings, coming up with a ‘plan’ - all in the span of say...
A Message to High School Seniors
Robbye Fox is a PEP Certified Parent Educator and Educational Consultant with The College Lady
Parenting in the Time of Coronavirus
Between the time I am writing this (early March) and you are reading it there will have been countless scary headlines about the coronavirus, and some new useful facts, discoveries, and policies, too. It feels like a crazy time and adults and children alike...
Staying Grounded During This March Madness
With all of the news about the Coronavirus, the turbulent stock market, and the ongoing presidential primaries, it's not surprising that many of us are feeling just a wee-bit stressed. Over the years, when parenting in stressful times, I found myself pondering,...
The Happy Kids Handbook: An Interview With Katie Hurley
" The US Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself ." - Benjamin Franklin "I just want them to be happy!" That's what many of us say when we talk about raising our kids. But how exactly do we achieve...
The Simple Art of Encouragement
A cornerstone, and often overlooked, part of parenting is the simple (but not easy) task of encouragement. I can never remind parents enough to encourage their kids and encourage themselves. Often we spend so much time trying to get them...
In Anxious Times, What Can Change?
When we are parenting in an anxious time, whether it be anxiety due to our personal problems, our kid's problems, our work problems, problems in the community or even world problems, we can become debilitated by stress and worry. Sometimes we soothe ourselves with...
What Parents Can Do About Sibling Fights
"Get outta my room!" (cue door slam), screamed 12-year-old Lily to her brother. "No!! I want my earbuds back! NOW!" Jacob responded while pounding both fists on the door so hard that the floor quivered. When Lily finally opened the door, she whipped the earbuds at...
6 Steps to Better Cooperation
Hoping for less stress in your life? Here is some food for thought, from one parent to another: Inspire your family to work together and share the load of household responsibilities Respect and support other family members' solutions to shared problems See children...
What Gets Noticed vs. What We Should Notice
Whether it’s societal pressure (thanks social media) or a family history of well-intended values, we tend to place a great deal of emphasis on outcomes and less value on effort. The outcomes, whether it’s making the honor roll or a litany of college...
What Dads and Kids Wish Moms Knew
Parenting is hard. A friend of mine says unless it's extremely challenging, you're probably not doing it right. And that brings me to a recent morning when I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. Cue flashback music. It's 7:59 a.m. and I'm sitting in the car getting...
Navigating the Inevitable: Parenting Potholes
“There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk: Autobiography In Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson Chapter I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter II I...
If We Don’t Look Back, How Do We Move Forward?
For many of us, the New Year is often coupled with resolutions — ideas about how we can improve ourselves, our families, our health, or even our professional life. Rather than focusing on how we could create a “new and improved self,” our time may be better spent...
Lifelong Strategies for Dealing With Tantrums and Other Meltdowns
There is nothing more uncomfortable than a meltdown or tantrum for parents and children alike; nothing more socially awkward than one that takes place in public. If you're parenting a young child, the holiday season is an excellent time to review strategies for...
Curbing Holiday Stress With Your Family
With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season well underway, it’s not unusual for parents and kids alike to feel stressed. Parents are tired of the prepping and schlepping, kids may be ready for a break from the routine of homework and school, and everyone is...
Flex the Muscle of Kindness This Thanksgiving
Here at PEP, one activity we do early on in many of our classes is the “Out of the Nest” exercise. In this group exercise, parents brainstorm a list of qualities they might like their children to have by the age of 18. Below is an actual list generated by one...
Middle School Matters: 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond
Middle School is full of angst, for our kids and for us! As parents, we are suddenly filled with self-doubt. Should I stay involved and continue to volunteer at school? Do I chaperone field trips -- my kid LOVED that in 3rd grade? Alternatively, do I totally...
Custom Built Blog Post with Divi
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About That Report Card…
Where did the fall go?! Here in Montgomery County, Maryland, Friday marks the end of the first marking period for county school students. This presents parents the opportunity to practice our encouragement skills as we consider how we’ve handled report cards in the...
Avoid These Top 10 Ways to Embarrass Your Tweens and Teens
Editor's Note: This list was excerpted from an article, It's My Life -- But My Parents Won't Butt Out! that appeared in Washington Parent magazine in September 2019. After you finish chuckling, read the article to learn how to help your tween or teen navigate their...
3 Steps to Conquer 21st Century Parenting Challenges
Have you ever dressed your 4-year-old because you can do it faster, or told your 7- year-old she has to wear a coat when she says she isn't cold? Can I get a show of hands of other parents who have "helped" their fifth grader on a Science Fair tri-fold board...
Building New Pathways to Meet Parents Where They Are: PEP’s New Strategic Direction
Over the past 6 months, PEP has reached out to a variety of stakeholders to learn how we can more effectively reach, and meet the needs of, today’s parents. We conducted surveys and held numerous meetings with school, community and business partners, parents,...
Parenting Extra-Challenging Children
Your toddler son clears out a grocery store aisle with an hour-long tantrum when his favorite cereal is sold out. Your kindergarten daughter loses points in class for nudging classmates on the carpet, bolting out of line and generally behaving impulsively. Your...
A Father’s Letter to His Daughter
To my 12-year-old daughter, Now that you're almost a teenager, it's more and more obvious to me that you are beautiful inside and out. I hope I tell you this often, since it's frequently on my mind. You and I may be driving to or from a seventh grade party, and you...
When Parents Disagree About Raising Their Children
Seven-year-old Amanda pensively chews on a lock of her hair, absorbed by her parents' rising voices. Meanwhile, her 5-year-old brother stares deeply into his bowl, using his spoon to whip the cornflakes into a mushy blur. "You can't just toast her another waffle...
A Teen and a “Burner Phone”
A recent article in the Wall Street Journal, Teens Smuggle Burner Phones to Defy Parents, shared the Van Every family's struggle to contain their daughter's access to a cell phone after hours. The four-year battle began with the then 14-year-old daughter...
In Honor of Mother’s Day — Strive for Five
Here at PEP, each of our webinars concludes with a 15 minute Q & A session. Last week's webinar, Communicating With Teens, included questions that are not at all unusual from parents of teens, questions about stinging interactions. For example: "My teen is 15...
The Good News About Bad Behavior
Look around any grocery store across the country and you'll find preschoolers having full-blown temper tantrums, young children yelling at their parents and teenagers refusing to look up from their phones to help the elderly. Where have respect for others and...
Emotion Coaching: Putting Words to Feelings
Parenting provides endless opportunities to navigate feelings — those of our children and our own. Whether we're dealing with a child, co-worker or partner, we often approach big feelings in one of two ways, either: Shutting them down Giving into and accommodating...
Feeling Anxious? Should We Respond With ‘Get Over It. Suck It Up.’?
This week NPR's Morning Edition featured a great piece about the role parents should play when dealing with kids and anxiety. The story describes a 9-year old boy who was so anxious about being alone that everyday tasks like bedtime and showering became...
Siblings: When They Hurt Each Other With Their Words
Q: My kids don't fight physically, but they are perfectly awful to one another with their words. Their age difference is such that one is far more capable than the other. By ignoring their behavior, as is often recommended when dealing with siblings, I'm afraid it...
Moving From Critic to Coach
This story was recently shared in the Discussion Forum for our new 4-week online class, Redefining Discipline: A No Gimmicks Guide to Raising Responsible, Respectful Kids. It demonstrates the impact that small changes can have on the quality of our relationships....
The Slippery Slope of Propping Up Children
It’s college and private school admissions season — a time when many parents stay up late worrying about the fate of their precious offspring or brainstorming ways to help them get ahead. So I’m not surprised by the news of arrests in a massive college admissions...
What Message Are We Sending Our Children?
As a parent, there is almost nothing that you wouldn’t do to help your child become a successful adult. But should you go to such lengths? And where is the line? The recent college admissions scandal shows some specific lines that parents were willing to cross in...
Lazy Kids? Start Here.
By Trish Pannuto & Colleen Reed An 8th grader disinterested in her household chore, accusing Mom of being “too picky,” and a Mom growing increasingly frustrated with her “lackadaisical” teenager. Does this story sound familiar? The Mom asked Carolyn Hax for...
Social Connection – Is There Really an App for That?
By Robbye Fox Social connection - the sense of being understood and genuinely belonging within a group - has been identified as a major contributor to a healthy, fulfilling life. It's a "chicken soup" for our physical and psychological well-being, especially for...
Anger: A Primer
By Paige Trevor From ages 0 - 32 my go-to emotion was crying. If I wanted to rally the troops around me and get something done, I would cry and pout. At 32 with two children under age four, I was suddenly the adult. In my new found adulthood I realized I...
The Value of Cultivating a “Yes Brain”
When asked, about raising balanced, resilient, insightful and empathetic kids, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, author of "The Yes Brain," shared the following in a recent interview with Katherine Reynolds Lewis. A: I think parents are overwhelmed and taxed. I think one...
Caring For Yourself Can Be Good For Your Child – Part II
In last week's blog, we talked about the importance of taking care of ourselves; how building in time for ourselves can make us feel more centered and less prone to anger. This week we're circling back to share some specific ideas about self-care. Self-care comes...
Caring For Yourself Can Be Good For Your Child
Maria has a massive to-do list that only seems to get longer. She often feels frazzled, and finds herself yelling at family members for reasons that seem unimportant in retrospect. Maria's friend, Sophie, also feels stretched way beyond comfort. She is tired,...